"To love your country, doesn't mean you can't ignore its faults."
When I look back at what I imagine of being the American Dream in previous times, I think it is about creating happiness, for yourself and your family by providing a satisfied lifestyle through hard work and overcoming all the struggles along the way. Having the freedom of choice to pursue goals and dreams, while given the opportunity to have, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It involved finding success by climbing up the ladder and never giving up. Not necessarily the rags to riches story or giving every generation a better life than the previous, a better life than your parents, but rather just achieving a fulfilling life in every way possible. Even more so, it means being able to eventually settle down with a career of interest that provides enough income to be financially stable, having health and well-being, a loving family, a house to call home and also able to also enjoy the things you love most. Might sound pretty cliché, but I think that is what most of us hope for and work towards. Now it seems to me like that dream has changed or transformed throughout the years. It’s not that people don’t want these things and this lifestyle of course, but rather it is becoming increasingly harder to achieve with the way the world is turning and society is transgressing.
Going from one extreme to another, many now strive for wealth, fame and fortune. By living the high life, driving the coolest car, talking on the newest cell phone, eating at the finest restaurants; living the perfect life of luxury and privilege. But is it these things that truly make one happy? Or is it a facade they use to cover up their insecurities and false realities? Far from the contradictory lives most of us live, trying to handle life’s daily obstacles. The classic American Dream of freedom and happiness has been corrupted by society and drastically transformed into greed and money. It’s not about what you’ve done with your life, the accomplishments you’ve earned, the contributions towards improving society or the life of others, but what objects you have accumulated, the house you live in, the car you drive, the tags on your clothes. Is it the more you can show for through materialism and consumerism, the better, more successful person you are? Everything about the American Dream has weakened including the values and morals that come along with it. We are defined and judged by our possessions, positions and financial worth more so than our talents, abilities or achievements.
Many people today view their role models or heroes as celebrities or politicians not successful, contributing people of influence. People in power are more corrupt than ever before with politicians taking advantage of their status to gain personal worth and often financial benefits as well, to priests “men of the cloth,” “God’s messengers,” who are caught molesting the children of the church. What has our world come to when we can’t even put faith and trust into our own ministers? We already knew politicians were dishonorable but preachers? Come on. Just a few things on the list to vent about that are questionable in our society.
Don’t want to completely start off with a dark, depressive attitude so in a brighter and more uplifting outlook there are numerous, countless things that make our country great and justify why we should be so very lucky to live here. And in reality, not just me trying to prove a point, there really are more decent people and good qualities that outweigh the bad in our society. I truly do see it everyday from complete strangers, helping humankind for the common good, not to be acknowledged or rewarded. But like with everything else and as the motto goes, it is the few bad ones that give everyone else a bad name or reputation and it sure is easier to point out the bad than the good. It is true that one mistake or fault is remembered forever even when it included an eternity of greatness. Not trying to be cynical of the country I love and am proud to be a citizen of by criticizing my fellow citizens but opening our eyes.
Americans are not ignorant or foolish. We are smart, sensible individuals. We represent the freedom and liberty our nation was built upon. We are what other countries idolize and strive to become. We live the lives other people wish they could experience. We have some of the best and most advanced educational systems, medical care, technology, armed forces and government services. Along with the numerous resources and supplies(although quickly vanishing) to fill the demands of our people. We don’t and hopefully never will have to worry about the necessities to survive, far from the harsh realities of children in Darfur or Uganda for example. Most of us have accumulated more in a year than families in other countries do in a lifetime. We are very fortunate to live here. America is the most powerful country, the leader of the world. Which doesn’t just come with the name, but by the people who exemplify it; we are what distinguish us from other countries. Take pride in being an American and use your freedom to its best. If you live here; love it and become apart of it. As the times change, the people, ideals and societal standards change, but as long as we remember freedom doesn’t come easy; it comes with attitude and respect.
Beginning with the transgression of people, starts at childhood. It is where our base and foundation are first built upon. It used to be that childhood was full of imagination and play, where minds were shaped and created. Now children are bombarded with materialism, products and objects are consistently and constantly in the media to shape young minds to become consumers: the ultimate goal of society. Children are no longer able to experience true childhood; playing outside until the sun goes down, being easily entertained by a simple cardboard box or playing with a jump rope. Parents plop their kids in front of the TV and continue on with their busy lives.
With all of the societal pressures from our media and culture to become an adult and a consumer, it instills the mentality and pressure for kids to grow up faster. Whatever happened to “I don’t want to grow up, I just want to be a kid?” Now our culture is full of elementary children sporting the newest cell phones and i-pods, spending more time zoned out on the computer, TV or Wii. God forbid they go outside and experience the “real” world not the virtual one they are living in.
So many children grow up with no discipline or beliefs, which give them the freedom and mind-set that they can do whatever they please without consequences for their actions. They are not learning morals but the latest celebrity gossip, which is opposing to the image we should strive to ingrain in our youth and the future. It is very contradictory to what it takes to become successful.
The pregnancy rate of adolescents has sky rocketed. It is basically kids having kids themselves. This relates back to the parenting, if kids have no role models or guidance they are lost and looking for attention; leading them to act up in all the wrong ways. The parents are setting their own children up for failure. Children go to school to learn “book smarts.” Sure they learn through their social environment how to handle different situations and problems, how to be socially acceptable and how to communicate with their peers, but it is ultimately the parents responsibility to instill real world lessons to their children and guide them so they can become valued and sensible; the knowledge and skills to survive and live decently. It is so important for parents to create that relationship with their children to lead by example and give them support.
Now to the discussion of technology, it does have a lot to do with who people are becoming and where our society is headed or has already arrived. Don’t get me wrong, technology has been the source of many great, life improving advancements such as healthcare, new forms of accessible communication, globalization, safety innovations, education; all of which assist in the progression of society. But realistically, technology has created lazier citizens. We are relying on technology to do everything for us and it is overpowering the human race, it is becoming who we are as a society. Between on-line degrees, working out of the home, chat rooms and social networks, we are loosing ourselves and personal human to human communication. Back in the day(or even just twenty years ago) I bet our grandparents would have never imagined or thought possible that everything from on-line shopping at the comfort, convenience of your couch, to GPS with talking directions, internet at palm of your hands, to an electronic toothbrush would exist. Along with programs like World of Warcrafts and Sims, “gamers” are simulating a new life and image for themselves, full with real money and interaction between other on-liners. A whole world created and lived on the computer screen. It is causing us to loose personal connection, which creates a lack of social skills to function in society. People can’t handle themselves in a real social situation, because they are so custom and comfortable to hiding behind the computer screen and not having to deal with life on the outside. What is to blame for all this change? Is it due to technology and other advancements or have people changed with the times? Is all of this technology honestly helping or hurting our world, our people as we progress in time? When does it become too much? At what point will we as living, breathing beings surrender and realize it has gone too far? With all of this technology, it allows us to do more, to be more, to see more but how much is enough? Through the accessibility of technology; doctors are curing cancer, healthcare has been taken to a new level, education is at the cutting edge, everyday beneficial changes are being made to strengthen and help our world, but is it overly transforming?
Many new advancements make us question if they really are good for society? Like finding new cures or vaccinations for instance, pretty radical philosophy but some argue that even though it is great to fight off these horrible diseases, cancers, etc. it is also going against nature. As hard and twisted as it is to understand, it is “God’s way” to control population growth. Or personally I think it would be a lot more logical and ethical to just keep control of all these “octimoms” running loose and only be allowed to have as many children as you can financially aford. It would help many aspects of society like control our welfare problem, over population, poverty and create smaller schools. The money saved would give us more resources to care for those citizens truly in need. The ratio of births to deaths each year is no longer balanced or relatively equal as it was in earlier eras, it is off the scale incomparable. Our resources are being extremely over utilized and other problems are created that accompany this.
This brings me to the topic of families transforming. We are so busy with everything from home life, the workplace, the family and all else in between, that we don’t even have the time to savor any of it. And forget about time to relax and possibly do something of enjoyment not only things we feel obligated to do. Family time, family dinners and family nights are becoming pastimes when these are the kinds of events that should take priority. The time spent with family and friends should be cherished and special, not put on hold for all of life’s other commitments and responsibilities. Life really does get in the way of living, it sometimes seems. Americans are very good at “spreading themselves too thin.” We are so caught up in all we do and our daily lifestyles or routines that we loose sight of who we are and what we truly want. It is so easy to get stuck in a rut and follow the same tedious schedule day after day. We are slowly loosing ourselves in our lifestyles, becoming lost, confused, twisted and used while using it as an excuse to avoid the actuality of what we really want and desire. It shapes us, making it superior to all else, even family and health. Never wanting to cause change or leave our comfort zone of what we know and trust. When we really are living anything but comfortable, dealing with the daily stresses and living just the motions of life not life itself. We are afraid to inflict change or try something new, scared the outcome might fail. But wouldn’t it be harder living with the regret of never knowing what could have been than to be a little risky?
Work is causing people to forgo their lives. Not just a job for the sake of making a living, but living to only work. Don’t get me wrong; we can all only hope we find a job we love and are passionate about and sure we work because we obviously have to, but there comes a point when we have to also realize there is more to life than just bringing home the bacon. Once again, moderation really is the key to success. Although it proves a challenge, the balance of work, family and “you time” are very important and make for a happier, healthier individual.
We are becoming too busy to spend time with the ones we love. We need to make the time in our busy lives to put aside for family and friends. Not only are we distant in family interaction, but throughout the years becoming much more geographically distant as well, which makes it harder and idealistic to build a family bond. What happened to the days when there was legacy? Children would attend the same high school as their great grandparents and the family name and the reputation built was actually something to be proud of. We aren’t just separated by different neighborhoods but by state borders, which makes it that much harder to build a meaningful relationship with your family.
Speaking of relationships, it seems as though they have also changed in altering ways. Nothing lasts; is it because it is easier to “get around,” too many distractions surrounding us or that we can’t have continuity, do we get bored with our relationships? No one can trust one another and couples are resorting to alternatives or others to fill that need. I see relationships based purely on the “idea” or image of being with someone more than the genuine love for each other. Couples are not happy or truly in love, but they long to feel needed or dependent on someone else so they stay together. Trust and commitment seem to be dying or at least harder to come by with the highest divorce rate ever and people relying on the mentality that “you can always just get a divorce if it doesn’t workout.” The meaning of marriage is loyalty, commitment and love. What happened to sticking to your vows, "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part?" Not saying that previous eras never cheated on their lovers or experimented with different partners. Just seems like it is unfortunately all too common now and easily forgiven. When if you truly love someone, they should forever be the one and only in your life. Couples are more into the physical, sexual desires of a relationship than actually having a true bond of love that is everlasting. Don’t get me wrong, the attraction and passion has to be there, but having that connection with someone to last forever is most important. The feeling of comfort when you know they are the one you want to spend your life with and can’t survive without. If this is present in a relationship, all of your needs will be filled and there is never thoughts or temptations to look elsewhere. Physical pleasure is just one aspect to a true, satisfied relationship. It is reassuring to know that you can actually relate to your lover and share a beautiful life together.
Back to technology, on-line dating is the new thing, overtaking the old, traditional methods of actually meeting people in the natural. People are creating relationships through different websites. It is understandable to use these sites with the direction our culture is turning and busy lifestyles, but when people are relying on communicating strictly through the computer it gets to be a little absurd. Especially knowing that it can be deceiving, a false front they are portraying. How do you really know one is being honest? And isn’t that what a relationship should be based upon? Is a virtual conversation and exchanging of pictures a real relationship filled with romance and love? Needless to say, many long lasting marriages have been formed from on-line dating, but it is still strange and definitely need to be safe. It is a far cry from what began as high school sweethearts to the 67 years of marriage my grandparents lived and loved together.
How people live their lives really does contribute to the way society is shaped and the direction our country takes. The American dream isn’t necessarily about working your way up, overcoming the struggles and obstacles to become successful, but doing whatever it takes to reign on top. Money, power and greed have corrupted our world and people will lie, cheat, steal and kill to get it. Ethics, morals and values are no barrier.
I like to believe that I am doing the right thing by going to school and earning a degree to get a decent paying career, providing for my family, etc. Basically that all my hard work will eventually pay off to create a better lifestyle for myself but I often wonder is it a waste of time and money, or will it pay off in the end? Should I join the rest of the people who get by fine doing the bare minimum? What is the incentive of working hard when the middle, working class essentially get penalized by having to make up for the slackers of society? Those that have nothing or don’t work for anything are rewarded by the ones doing the right thing of working hard and paying their way. Our government assists those that can’t provide for themselves so it creates the idea that they can just rely on it and not have to worry. While the citizens that actually do work for what they have, not only are struggling to get by but also paying the way of others. Not saying we shouldn’t help out our fellow citizens that are less fortunate or in severe circumstances, to help them get back on their feet, but I am talking about the ones that take full advantage of the system when they are able to work. There is no integrity or pride to work hard anymore. Whatever happened to the American dream of earning everything you have? I tell myself I will be rewarded later in life and it will all be worth it, but it is sometimes frustrating to believe when I see so many stories of people getting defeated and taken advantage of. The good people unfortunately finish last all too often in this mixed up world. Makes me question myself and see why so many people eventually just give up. But on the contrary it also gives us more incentive to push ourselves and become more than the rest, to live a better life. My ethics and morals of work are constantly pushed and twisted by temptations, but I know I am fulfilling my own goals by working hard to create the life I’ve imagined, even if I feel it sometimes goes hopeless in its entirety.
The richer you are, the more taxes you pay. So, if you work hard your whole life to become successful and get a high paid position it should be your obligation to society to give more of your money away? Shouldn’t it be that if you work hard, you should be rewarded, not punished? We live in America, the land of the free. How free is it really? We have a very irrational, corrupt system that sometimes penalizes those that endure through the ups and downs. It seems like it is a system of balance, with the wealthier citizens making up for or “balancing” out the less wealthy. All a part of the high cost of living in America we are cursed by everyday. Whether it is fair or not, it seems inevitable at least in this generation.
My parents only had my brother and me because that is what they knew they could sufficiently provide for with the opportunities to go to college and do the things we wanted. My mom and dad have worked hard their entire lives to put food down on the table and supply a decent lifestyle for my family, but it kills me to see the financial problems they have recently encountered with this economic crisis. They truly get screwed and hit with everything, causing them constant stress. If they were less successful would they get the assistance they need falling into government care and getting it subsidized?
The working, middle class citizens have to literally be dead to go to the doctor, because of such high premiums, extreme deductibles, co-pays and ridiculous insurance rates that they are afraid to even use their own healthcare plans because of the expenses it will cost them. While the ones on welfare or government subsidized care have no problem taking advantage knowing they don’t have to pay for it. The unemployed and illegal immigrants get too many privileges.
How about having to personally pay for the damages when an illegal immigrant without insurance hits your car? What is wrong with this situation? So much for taking care of our own contributing citizen’s right? Once again, having to make up for the rest of society and being punished for doing right. What kind of message is this sending to the future generations of America? If you pay taxes, contribute to society and what do you get in return?
Or all the ethnic and cultural college scholarships, where you have to be a certain ethnicity to apply? Not once in all the research I’ve done have I ever come across a Caucasian scholarship for a pure breed white girl. Of course not, that would be considered racism. How about reverse racism? I think in this day and age, with whites quickly becoming the minority; this is the bigger issue. I am all about equality and I know we(whites) mistreated and abused Native Americans, African Americans, Asians and I’m sure the list can go on, but the past is over and nothing will ever change that or take it back. How long will it go that we have to make up for our ancestors mistaken legacy? Isn’t that contradictory of the mistreatment they underwent? At what point, if ever, can we all just be equal and forgiven of all mistakes, judgments and stereotypes? More effort needs to be made to create parity among all. I know we are not all given the same, equal opportunities and it will probably never be that way, but it would be nice to see more widespread unity.
Especially with the declining state of the economy we are experiencing; success or just surviving is proving to be a struggle, making the American Dream even harder or unachievable. It is very discouraging to know people are working jobs they hate because it’s all they can get for the time and should be lucky to even have. Forget about traveling, going out or luxuries, it is about survival.
The price of living is not relative to the wages and salaries that most people make. Hence why we are in more debt than ever before and credit is the staple source of reliance. In comparison, my mom paid off her first car by herself working minimum wage as a lifeguard, for only one summer. Without the help of my parents or taking out loans there would be no way I could make enough money in one summer to buy a new car. It is not even possible these days, hard enough to just get the down payment and keep up with the monthly fees over a four year period. Along with that, my grandparents outright owned their house as a young couple on their own without obscene mortgages, home loans or severe debt. Obviously this goes with everything else, all the other costs of everyday living like gas, bread, etc. Of course prices will increase with time, but as time also increases it seems to be more and more out of reach. It has gotten to a point where it is unobtainable to keep up or catch up with the high costs of living, always a step behind if you want to have anything and forget about investing or saving with the never ending debt to pay off. This all also contributes to people working till the day they die, because they have to pull out of their retirement plans and 401K’s early. So the dream of working hard to eventually have a good retirement has also proven to be another challenge. There are many factors and obstacles like the state of the economy preventing this “American Dream” of becoming reality, making it unobtainable that it really is just that: a dream or idea. It is so distorted by the truth that our perception of it is surreal.
Well, enough with the demolishing of our society and pointing out a few of the many problems. This wasn’t intended to be completely negative. Rant and rave? Maybe, but I also want to say and clarify that there are great people, many of them in fact. Everyday I am proud and fortunate to live here no matter how pessimistic I come across. Life is beautiful and society as we know it is not completely going down the drain, things are definitely changing, but there is still hope. Changing for the better? Hard to say, I’ll let you be the judge of that.
I understand every nation has problems of their own on varying levels, some worse than others and very incomparable with how civilized or advanced a society is. I am very lucky to have my health, my family, my freedom and my opportunities; the things we easily take for granted.
Since the time of human creation, we have evolved and will continue to evolve as the times change, but I can only hope we will still hold the same ideas and beliefs our ancestors shared. Just because the times change and everything changes along with it, doesn’t mean that we have to also change who and what we are. This country was not built with a computer, but by the hard work and determination of the natural, inherent mind and body. With that said, live your own “American dream”; don’t give into society and media’s standards or stereotypes of living. Very few of us have the “perfect life” and true happiness can only be measured by the individual.
Maybe it’s not that our society, even world in general is diminishing its standards, but just transforming with the times and keeping up with the demands of change. New era, new outlook? Although, things are transforming, some things remain the same; we are human and only we can create this change.
Grandpa was a wonderful, loving husband, son, brother and father. He believed in old school ethics and values, worked hard throughout his life to provide a good lifestyle for his family and take care of them the best he could, giving them everything they needed. He achieved many great accomplishments in his time from pursuing his education to a Master’s Degree, always intrigued to learn more at every stage of his life. Lt Col in the United States Marine Corps for 23 years, where he served in WWII and the Korean Conflict and was stationed all over the world. He served on the Nevada State Cabinet as Director for the Department of Motor Vehicles. All of these accomplishments, experiences and memories are what filled much of my Grandpa’s life but he would never let those things interfere with his family and friends which are what truly shaped my Grandpa and made him the man he became. Grandpa was happy to just be in good company and conversation. He was a very humble man and always gave everyone a fair shot.
